When you think of depression, do you think of someone being shut down, withdrawn, flat? That can be the appearance but in fact depressed people are highly emotionally aroused. This is due to the high levels of the stress hormone, cortisol, being produced which is responsible for the fight or flight response. A depressed person’s attention is very focussed on their problems – they are in a negative trance state much of the time, seeing the world through a negative filter.

They will be continually worrying about the future, expecting the worst or going over past negative events and re-experiencing the associated emotions.

Such extreme emotional arousal necessitates a longer period of dream (REM) sleep to deactivate the emotion. The extra REM sleep means a deficit of restorative slow wave sleep and so depressed people wake up the next day feeling tired and unmotivated. Not a great way to start the day and so concentration may be poor, energy low, less gets done, the person worries more and feels less like seeing people, and so the cycle of depression continues. The depression spirals deeper until something changes to break this cycle.

The initial trigger for the worrying is always related to unmet emotional needs. E.g. the need for security being challenged by threat of job loss or the need for a feeling of achievement being compromised by poor exam performance, etc. 

How to Break the Cycle of Depression

1. Learn how to relax. Whichever way you prefer – 7:11 breathing, meditation, yoga, reading a book, listening to calming music, walking in nature, etc. The more time you can spend in a relaxed state, the more balanced your sleep phases will be and the more restorative rest you will get that night.

2. Although you may feel completely self-absorbed and stuck in your thoughts and painful emotions, try to focus your attention towards other people. If you can do something to help other people that is a good way to take a step out of that depressive cycle while beginning to regain a sense of meaning and purpose.

3. Be careful about what you worry about. Stop worrying about things you cannot change – e.g. the past. If there are things that you can change … take action – 1 small 1^st step. Action is an antidote to worry. Worrying is to misuse your imagination – only imagining the negatives. Try to occupy yourself to be mindful in the present.

4. Although you may wish to hide away and be alone, this is the opposite of what you need to do. What did you used to enjoy doing? That is what you need to do again even if it feels hard. Again this replaces ruminating and allows sleep to begin to return to normal, breaking the cycle of depression.

5. Exercise – so many psychological benefits as well as physical. Exercise flushes out the stress hormones – e.g. cortisol and stimulates production of feel-good hormones -serotonin. Make it easy to achieve – it doesn’t have to be an 18-hole round of golf! A 20-minute walk is good too and is achievable. Use the exercise time to switch off worries not to dwell on them.

6. Are you doing all you can to facilitate your sleep? Good sleep hygiene is about regular sleep time and getting up time; relaxing for a couple of hours or more before bedtime; avoiding caffeine in the evenings and cutting down during the day; avoiding screen time in the bedroom and cutting down in the evenings; having your bedroom slightly cooler than the rest of the house; keeping light out of the bedroom during sleep time; caution with alcohol as this can disrupt sleep patterns. If you cannot sleep don’t lie in bed worrying about not sleeping. Get up and do something until tiredness sets in – nothing fun or interesting so not to make staying awake attractive – read a boring book or do the ironing for example.

7. Complete a task. You will feel worse if the day goes by and nothing changes. Choose something that is manageable that won’t take too long and won’t overwhelm. Tidy a room, put some flowers in a vase, make a soup or some scones.

8. Ask yourself when did the depression start? What was happening in your life then? What do you need to get back on track? What’s the first small step?

9. Understand the 3 P’s – Personal, Permanent and Pervasive. A perfect recipe for depression is to take things personally/blame yourself, believe when something goes wrong it is permanent and thinking a setback in 1 part of your life will affect your whole life e.g. she left me because I’m hopeless at relationships, I’ll never have a long-term partner, my whole life is a mess!

10. You will recover from depression. Even without intervention depression eventually lifts. A good therapist will know how to help you recover more quickly and provide you with the understanding of how to guard against depression in future.