Anger Management

Excessive anger, long-term can have serious implications for our health.

  • High blood pressure
  • High cholesterol
  • Damaged or blocked arteries
  • Heart disease
  • Reduced immunity to infections
  • Increased recovery times for major traumas e.g. surgery or cancer

Anger and fear are close cousins – both involve the fight-or-flight response to perceived threats.

The perceived threat triggers the fight-or-flight response and the angry emotion occurs instantly. It takes a fraction of a second before the thinking part of the brain kicks in – which is sometimes too late. The regrettable words have been spoken or the violence has been enacted.

As with any strong emotion anger can make us “stupid” by closing down neural connections to our thinking brain, the neocortex. The greater the intensity of the angry emotion, the more these neural pathways close down and the more black-and-white our thinking becomes. This type of thinking is totally inadequate in an argument and only serves to escalate the emotionality of the situation. It is only when we are calm that we can have full access to our neocortex (the part of our brain responsible for clear thinking). It is only therefore when we are calm that we can see the shades of grey, using nuanced thinking to negotiate relationships and situations effectively.

If anger has become unmanageable for you it is usually because some other aspect of your life is not working. Excessive anger is a symptom – a sign that one or more of your innate human needs are not being met in balance. This can be physical needs e.g. lack of sleep, or emotional needs e.g. feeling disrespected, feeling someone is blocking your progress, etc.

Anger outbursts can even become addictive. That surge of chemicals released in the state of high emotional arousal, the black and white self-righteous thinking and the sense of feeling powerful that anger can bring can feel good. The feel-good effect, as with all addictions however, is short-lived and the damage far outweighs the rewards.

I can Help you Control Anger by:

  • Helping you identify and understand your anger triggers
  • Helping you understand what goes on in your mind, brain and body when your anger is triggered
  • Learning how to anticipate and prevent anger outbursts
  • Showing you how to manage anger and calm down quickly
  • Explaining how to deal with angry thoughts
  • Exploring with you better ways to communicate and negotiate
  • Exploring ways to ensure your emotional needs are better met
  • Helping you make healthy lifestyle changes e.g. re alcohol, sleep, exercise
  • Dealing with any relevant past traumas